Adventures in Rude Awakenings

It’s 1:30 am, and I’m lying in bed, wide awake and soaking wet. 3 minutes ago, I was lying in bed sound asleep and bone dry. In between, I was startled awake by a terrific crashing sound in my bathroom, followed by the sound of gushing water. In my haste to rouse myself, I got tangled up in my mosquito net, so that the cat, my bed sheet, my mosquito net and I all tumbled out of bed together in a giant mess of mesh, fur and limbs.
As I extricated myself from the mess, my brain was trying to make sense of the sounds coming from my bathroom. “Did my toilet just blow up? Is that possible? Is that even a thing that could happen?” I finally stumbled my way across the 5 feet to the bathroom, and discovered that the faucet in my shower had blown off. Water was gushing out of the pipe in the wall, and the tap that is supposed to be attached to the pipe was on the other side of the bathroom. I have no idea where the water shut-off valve for the house is, so I pushed the faucet back onto the pipe, bathing myself in a watery spray worthy of any plumbing fiasco scene in a comedy.  There I was, spluttering and making dreadful scrunchy faces as I tried to avoid the jets of water spraying everywhere.  Once the tap was back on, I jiggled it to make sure it was secure.  In fact, I tested it so thoroughly that it blew off again, and I had to repeat my spluttering scrunchy-face routine.  After I got it back on the second time, I didn’t test it anymore.  Instead, I turned the tap on a little bit (to ease the pressure?? That seemed to make sense…) and crawled back into bed. I’m going to try to go back to sleep, and hope it doesn’t blow off again ’til morning.
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