Adventures in Airing Dirty Laundry

Posted on August 11, 2010 by Janice Hillmer

I mean the title of this post quite literally. At 4:30 this afternoon, I aired my dirty laundry. If you want to know why, I should back up a few hours…

I had a fantastic lunch with my friend Britte-Catherine. (I had a grilled chicken, avocado and salsa sandwich on 7-grain bread, in case you wanted to know.) Afterwards, we spent a few minutes sniffing lovely lotions and shampoos in the drug store (yes, I’m a girl), until I accidentally squirted one up my nose, after which everything smelled like jasmine and cocoa hand cream (but now I have a very soft nostril, in case you wanted to know.)

While Britte-Catherine was still sniffing, I realized we were close to the flower market, and since I cleaned my apartment yesterday, all my tabletops were looking bare and neglected without their towers of books and lacy coating of dust. I also have a great moldible/flexible plastic vase that has been sad and empty for quite some time. Putting all these things together in my mind, (while trying to discreetly empty my nose of lotion – unsuccessfully, in case you wanted to know), I thought it would be a great idea to pick up some fresh cut flowers on the way home.

I bought a gorgeous bunch of red and orange orchidy kind of looking things and carefully unwrapped them when I got back to my apartment. I pulled out my vase and cheerfully arranged the flowers in it. However, they wouldn’t all fit, so I just arranged a few and put them on my bedroom dresser. I turned my back for a moment, and when I looked again, the vase had toppled over and soaked the cat’s carpet covered scratching post, so I spent 20 minutes scrubbing the hairy thing dry.

When I was finished, I tried again – but with fewer flowers in the vase. It looked sturdy, so I came out here to tell you all about my pretty flowers. Moments later, I heard the unmistakable sound of pouring water…the vase had toppled again. This time, it spewed all its water directly into my laundry hamper. Muttering under my breath, I hauled out my soaking dirty laundry and started hanging it up on the drying rack. I felt a little ridiculous pinning up dirty clothes.

Since I’ve had the vase for a long time, and have always liked it, and since the flowers are quite new, and I don’t know them very well at all, I have naturally blamed the flowers for both disasters. As a result, the whole lot of them are now sitting ignominiously in my mop bucket.

Eventually, I’ll forgive them, and go find them a bigger vase.

Adventures in Zombie Lizards

Posted on July 26, 2010 by Janice Hillmer

Early this morning, (well, to be accurate, it was only early-ish) I was preparing a nice cup of oolong tea and unwrapping the remains of last night’s calzone. My plan was to sit out on my balcony and enjoy the leisurely pace of a holiday morning breakfast before hunkering down with my phonology.

As I approached my patio door, I saw a lifeless lizard with only 1/2 a face on my balcony. I thought to myself, ‘Poor lizard’, ‘Oh gross that’s going to spoil my calzone’, and ‘Where’s it’s face?’ all at the same time. I put my calzone and tea cup back on the counter and went to fetch my broom.

Moments later, I returned with the broom ready to sweep the poor critter up; the poor critter was gone! I opened the door and looked all over the balcony – walls, floor, ceiling – there was no faceless lizard to be seen. I figured a bird must have swooped in and picked up an early morning happy meal to go. I returned the broom to the cupboard, returned my tea and calzone to my hands, opened the balcony door…and nearly stepped on the faceless lizard! It was back, and in a different location.

Slightly creeped out, I went for the broom again, only to discover that the lizard was gone: again.

Honestly – how far and how fast can a lifeless faceless lizard move!!?? I was starting to think I may have been mistaken about the lifeless, but the faceless part was tough to miss. I finally concluded that I had a zombie lizard on my balcony, and if s/he wanted to stay there, that was fine with me – but I was going to have my breakfast indoors.

During the course of the day, I’d peek out and sometimes I’d see the zombie lizard and sometimes I wouldn’t. I never did see it move. Eventually, late in the afternoon, I did see it, surrounded by a gathering swarm of industrious ants. That time, when I went for the broom, s/he didn’t disappear.

I learned two things today:

1. Dead things, even little lizards, make me sad.

2. The only way to crush a zombie rebellion is with ants – lots and lots of ants.

Adventures in S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y

Posted on July 17, 2010 by Janice Hillmer

Since today is Saturday, neither school nor church was going to get me out of my house, so I had to come up with another plan. With no scheduled demands on my time, I was free to fill my day as I saw fit.

I spent the morning cleaning my apartment and doing laundry. Most of my laundry I take to have washed and ironed by a young woman down the street. Some things I prefer to wash on my own, so I take them to the laundromat downstairs. It’s not the kind of laundromat we have in Canada. As you can see from the photo, it’s just a row of washing machines lined up outside a cell-phone store.

After everything was clean and tidy,

I headed off to my favourite coffee shop to get some more school work done. I hunkered down in there for two hours, until my laptop battery died.

At that point, I packed up and tried out the Fish Foot Spa.

My plan was to read/study while little fishies were working hard to make my feet soft and smooooooth. The first five minutes were ticklish and prickly and squirmy and terrible. Eventually my frightened little nerve endings calmed down and I was able to relax for the rest of the hour. I did get some reading done, but I was facing a plate glass window that looked out onto the market street. Eventually, I put my book down and watched the street come to life as vendors arrived and set up their stalls.

The fish finished their work around 6pm, just in time for me to head out into the market and find myself some dinner. This is where I usually forage for my food on Friday and Saturday nights. Tonight, I opted for some of the Pad Thai and a bit of Northern Thai sausage.

I brought everything home and sat out on my balcony watching the clouds roll in over the mountain as I enjoyed my dinner. There are some lovely sunset views from this vantage point when it’s not overcast. Oh, and that’s the roof of the laundromat you can see in the foreground.