Adventures in Morning Musings

What went through my head upon waking up today (poor punctuation and all):

…it’s morning…get up, Janice.  … get up now…really, i mean it… 1-2-3 NOW! …okay, one more try, this time for real… 1-2-3- GETUP! oh for goodness sake, you know that if you get up now you’ll have time for a nice cup of coffee before class.  mmmm, steamy hot lovely smelling coffee…mmmm.  okay, ready?  get up now. get up. now. get. up. now. puppies!….dang it, Janice, you can be such a moron…fine, if coffee won’t get you up, maybe your bladder will…you know you have to pee…no, you can’t hold it a while longer, you have to get up now…fine, so maybe you can hold it…for goodness sake, why is this so difficult?  We go through this every morning…every morning for how many years?  not counting naps, and the first few years where it didn’t matter, that means 365 days, multiplied by a lot of years…carry the 11.5…divide by something orange…haha brain, that’ll teach you to try and spring math on me before my eyes are open…oh, my eyes aren’t open…that might help…okaaaayyyyy….squint a little…good…one eye open…good…then the other…oh! it’s not raining…rub your eyes…good…keep ’em open…look for lizards…good…yes, you can blink…………IT DOESN’T TAKE 54 SECONDS TO BLINK!!! Open your eyes!! pathetic.  Alright, one foot on the floor…that’s progress…now, just one more….NONONO, cat cat! This is NOT a good time to curl up on my stomach all cute and purring and snuggly…sigh.  Late again.

Adventures in Mirth…

What a day this is turning out to be. I woke up chuckling from an odd dream I had, and soon sat down with coffee and toast in hand to peruse my morning websites. I spent a few minutes on Damn Interesting which my friend Jen introduced me to. I came across an article entitled “Humoring the Gelotologists” by Alan Bellows. I spent the next 10 minutes reading all about theories of why we laugh, and the healthy benefits of laughter. By the end of the article, I was sure I had laughed enough to add a few days to my life expectancy. I wasn’t finished yet. At the bottom of the article were links to various funny sites. That’s when I found it. It was a little creepy, a whole lot bizarre, and frighteningly contagious. Since laughter is so good for you, and I want all my readers to be happy and healthy, I’m sharing this for your own good. Be sure to turn your speakers on, and enjoy.

Adventures in Absolutely Nothing…

After much anticipation, the 5-day Chuseok holiday is upon us. Instead of battling the teeming masses of humanity descending on every flight, train, bus and highway, I’ve chosen to stay home, relax and get caught up on my “I’ll do that later” list. I have spent the last 2 days fluttering between the sofa (watching movies, Murder She Wrote, and an unending stream of CSI episodes on a 48+ hour CSI Marathon on one of the Korean channels), cleaning my balcony (Good heavens, how long has that plant been dead?, Eww, what kind of bug is that and how long has it been dead? What on earth is in that box, and why have I been keeping it?), reading and playing Scrabulous. As a result, there hasn’t been much Bloogabler material. (Ha, I meant to write Bloggable, but Bloogabler is such a bubbly tasting word, I left it in for you to enjoy too.)

As is often the case when my days are routine, my nights are not. Two night ago I dreamed I was house-hunting. I found a delightful place with a pink kitchen, a rooftop garden with a view of the bay, and the option to either descend into the basement via the stairs, or the carpeted slide. Last night, I dreamed I was looking for an apartment. After finding a suitable place, I went to the grocery store. My purchases came to $19.06, so I paid $20 and waited for my $3.25 in change. The clerk refused to give me my change. It wasn’t the $3.25 that she disputed (somehow, both of us and the cash register agreed that that was the correct amount). No, her rationale was “If I give everyone change, I won’t have any money left in my till.” I was furious. I was entitled to $3.25 change, and she couldn’t just keep it! I wrestled her out of the way, grabbed a $3 bill and a quarter from the cash register, and was on my way.

I woke up with a strong determination to send my sub-conscious back to Math class.