Adventures in my Hot and Spicy Kitchen

*Warning: This post contains pictures of lizards mating, mangoes boiling, and a lazy cat – any of which may be disturbing for some readers.*

My kitchen is tiny. Not as tiny as this one in my former apartment, but still tiny.

“I hope the Blue Faerie will turn me into a real kitchen someday!”

Since it’s so small, not much happens in it. In the morning, coffee gets brewed, an egg gets fried and a slice of bread gets toasted. On a good day, the 3 resulting dirty dishes might get washed. That’s about it. (Unless the cat uses the space to practice some sort of extravagant cabaret show while I’m out…)

Um…yeah, that’s not likely.  

Cat shenanigans notwithstanding, my kitchen has seen a lot more action this week than it usually does. And yes, I do mean action. ‘Tis the season when a young lizard’s fancy turns to thoughts of…CPR. I came home the other day and interrupted a Gecko 1st Aid class in progress on my kitchen wall:

“Henri, we have been spotted! Quick, pretend you’re giving me the Heimlich maneuver!”

Not to be outdone by the lizards, I decided to spice things up a bit myself. Uhh..let me re-phrase that. I really started to get things cooking. Hmm, no, that doesn’t sound quite right either. Y’know what? There is just no appropriate Grandma-might-be-reading-this way to transition from taking pictures of lizard sex CPR to making mango chutney. Except maybe to say, “A few days later, I made mango chutney.”

A few days later, I made mango chutney. My neighbour had picked a gazillion mangoes off my tree, and gave me a giant basket full of yumminess. I shared lots of them, but was still left with nearly a dozen delicious, juicy mangoes to use up. In a sudden burst of domestic fervor, I dug out my saucepan, bought some canning jars, Googled a recipe, read for a while, painted my toenails, did some laundry, and eventually set to work. The recipe called for crystallized ginger, and red pepper flakes. Why use those when fresh ginger and fresh chillies abound?

This is a photo of an awesome pot of chutney…with a not-so-awesome caption.

The bright yellow/orange mangoes and the fiery red chilies in a sweet and tangy sauce make the perfect companion to almost any meal in this wet and rainy season.

Uh-oh.

I’ve just made an uncomfortable discovery. I don’t actually make meals in my kitchen. Why on earth did I make a condiment to go with them!? It’s like handing someone a bottle of ketchup and saying, “Here, look at this pretty ketchup, and imagine how good it would taste if you had a burger to put it on.” Drat!

I guess the lizards are going to have to find a new venue for their 1st aid classes, and the cat is going to have to have cabaret practice in the living room. It looks like I’ll be gettin’ busy (Sorry, Grandma!) in my kitchen after all.

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3 thoughts on “Adventures in my Hot and Spicy Kitchen

  1. Your kitchen might be a little bigger than mine! And at least it has a real sink 🙂 Hilarious as always (I always leave you comments so that you know how much I appreciate your blog 🙂

  2. Pingback: Adventures in Passion | Adventures in My Shoes

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