Adventures in Itty Bitty Fancy Pants…

Guess what you guys? I have an apartment!

After 3 months of traipsing through Alberta, Ontario, Saskatchewan, Alaska and BC, I’ve finally unpacked my suitcases in some swanky downtown digs.

Well – I’ve almost unpacked my suitcases. One of them is still half-full of boring stuff I don’t know where to put yet, so it’s sitting near my closet mocking me and my organizational efforts. But for the most part, I’m nearly settled.

Settled in an Itty Bitty Fancy Pants apartment.

Why Itty Bitty? Because it’s only 428 square feet, and has 4 rooms … if you count the bathroom, hall closet and bedroom closet as rooms. If not, then it’s a bachelor suite.

Why Fancy Pants? Because it’s got some pretty amazing features that I’m really, really excited about:

#1. A Bathtub

I haven’t had a bathtub for fourteen years. Oh, except for 1 year in Korea. I forgot about that. So wait…let me do the math…carry the 4…multiply by 7… I haven’t had a bathtub for ten years! 

Take a good look. It's never going to be this clean again.

Take a good look. It’s never going to be this clean again.

Not only that, but I don’t have to plug anything in to get hot water. In fact, I have hot water coming out of every single tap in my apartment. Maybe I should have even listed that as a separate example of my apartment’s fancy pantedness. Hot Water. Everywhere. Always.

#2. A Stove WITH FOUR BURNERS & An Oven

When I lived in China, I had a little bunsen burner in my kitchen. If you accidentally knocked the burner while you were cooking, the rubber hose that carried the gas would come loose and start flailing around like a fire-breathing cobra. Cooking was an adventure.

My first year in Thailand, I didn’t have a burner at all. Cooking was impossible.

Now, I have four burners. I can use a different burner for every meal, and still have one feeling left out. And I have an oven that’s big enough to cook a whole dozen cookies. Not just 4 at a time. Do you know what this means?? It means cookies!

A magical machine that makes cookies and eggs and soup all at the same time!

A magical machine that makes cookies and eggs and soup all at the same time!

#3. A Freezer

My new fridge has this magical door on it that opens to a separate super-freezy section. Do you know what this means?? That’s right. It means ice cream.

I can fit a lot of ice cream in here. I know. I've done it.

I can fit a lot of ice cream in here. I know. I’ve done it.

#4. A Countertop

Admittedly, it’s a small one. But it’s big enough to chop and slice and dice – and more importantly, it’s big enough to roll out a pie crust. Do you know what this means?? You’re catching on – it means pie…with ice cream!

So, 3/4 of the things I’m super excited about are going to make me fat. Luckily, my building also has a gym and a swimming pool and is right next to a giant park.

Those things are okay too, I guess.

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